For the last time
by Felixy
Summary: This story follows the game route of Hakuouki; Hijikata's route. The war ended a year ago, and finally, we're together. However, that one day, you asked for me to bring you to the Sakura tree, the place where you finally defeated Kazama-san. I knew something was wrong, but I did so anyway, because I know, it could very well be for the last time. Includes an epilogue.
1. For the last time

**Author's note: To bring out the best of this story, please listen to_ kimi no kioku _by _MAO (1st ending of Hakuouki anime)_ while reading. I hoped you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. :)**

The wind was blowing softly, as though it was caressing my face. _Sakura_ petals fell from the tree above us; the very same _Sakura_ tree on that fateful day a year ago. Nostalgia flooded me when I thought back to that day, the day we were finally free.

"Chizuru." His voice was gentle and loving.

"Yes?" I smiled down at the man I loved, his head resting on my lap. Our fingers were interlocked.

He extended his free hand suddenly to touch my hair gently. "A _sakura_ petal." He chuckled, as he took the petal off my hair. I felt my cheeks burning. I was living with this man for a year, proudly known as his wife, but I can never get used to his beauty and the fact that this man belonged to me.

Who would have thought that man who once wanted to kill me was now the man I loved more than anything else? That night was engraved vividly into my memory. The snow was falling, and the cold wind was howling. Standing in front of me was a man dressed in a purple _kimono _top and gray _hakama_, accompanied by a bright sky-blue coat. The moonlight reflected off his smooth long hair that was tied up in a ponytail, fluttering as though it was dancing along with wind. His cold sword was directed at my chest, with a strong intensity to kill. His violet eyes were cold and fierce.

"Listen, don't you dare to run. If you try to run, I'll kill you." His voice, void of any warmth, was colder than the weather. It cut through me even before his sword did.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice interrupted my thoughts; his eyes bored into mine. His beautiful violet eyes were the same as the night we first met, and yet, so very different. His eyes were no longer cold when looking at me, instead, his gaze filled me with warmth.

"Hmm?" I continued stroking his short, soft black hair. "Just thinking about the night we first met."

"Ahaha," He laughed deeply from his throat. "If you try to run, I'll kill you, huh?" His voice was getting softer.

My vision blurred as I felt my cheek getting wet, my tears splashed onto his forehead in droplets. "Eh?" I didn't even know I was crying. I wiped them off using my sleeve, trying to stop them from falling, but to no avail. The more I tried to wipe off my tears, the more it fell. His smile dropped as he stared at me, his face full of concern.

"Chizuru," his voice was so soft, and weak. "Don't cry." His shivering hands lifted to wipe the tears from my eyes. I knew that even though it was a simple task of wiping away my tears, he was using up most of his strength.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't…" I choked on a sob before I could finish my sentence. It was hard to believe this man, now so frail and weak, was once the _oni fukuchou_ of the infamous _Shinsengumi_.

"Chizuru," He whispered my name again. "I'm sorry I had to leave you behind, all alone. If possible, I want to live on and spend my entire life with you." His voice quivered as though he was holding back his tears too. This time, I did not even bother stopping my tears. I just let it fall.

"No…" I mumbled. I didn't want to listen anymore. I didn't want to face reality.

"Chizuru, I love you." His voice was getting softer, weaker and very distant. "In this lifetime, and in my next few lifetimes, I will always love you. Even if I'm no longer beside you, just know that I love you and my heart will eternally be yours."

I nodded, biting on my lips.

"Urgh." He groaned in agony, and his face twisted with pain. However, it was quickly replaced with a sad bitter smile. "I guess it's time." Although he limited his powers as a _rasetsu_ after the war, it still remained a fact that he overused most of his lifetime while fighting for _Shinsengumi_. The powers, that stole many of our friends' lives, was now going to take away my most loved one from me again.

"No…" I mumbled again. _Kondou-san, Heisuke-kun, everyone, please, I beg you. Please don't take him away from me._ I prayed silently. I didn't want to lose him. He was going to leave me, like father, like kondou-san, and the rest of _Shinsengumi_. He was going to leave me, to join them, in a place so far away.

"Chizuru," his voice now barely audible. "Stop crying… And please smile, and call me using my name… I… want to hear… you say my name… for the… last… time…"

_For the last time._

I forced a smile, with tears still flowing from my eyes. "I… I love you, Toshizo." His face relaxed, as though the pain was never there, as though he was at peace. Slowly, I moved my face closer to his and gave him a peck on his lips.

_For the last time_.

I closed my eyes shortly after he closed his. For a second, I saw a teardrop rolled down his cheeks and fell onto the soft ground. Unlike the first time we kissed, his lips were no longer warm. It was cold; ice cold.

In just moments, I heard the sickening sound of crumbling sand that I dreaded to hear. Before I knew it, I was no longer holding his hands but handful of ashes, and I could no longer feel his lips on mine. I sat there silently as the wind blew the ashes far far away from me. I looked up into the blue sky, the same colour as the _Haori _he was so proud of wearing.

"I really love you."

I whispered as I just let the tears fall freely, no longer holding back anything.

He was gone. He really was gone. But I knew he will always be watching over me, together with the rest of _Shinsengumi_. I didn't know how long I sat there, under the _Sakura_ tree. His ashes were all blown away, far away from me, to a place I can never reach.

All that was left, was a single _Sakura _petal.


	2. Epilogue - For the first time

_**Epilogue: For the first time**_

I lay lifelessly on the bed, knowing fully well my end was coming.

_Soon, soon and I'll be seeing you again, my love. _

After his death, I begun learning medicine, continuing my father's career as a western doctor under the wing of Matsumoto-_sensei_. Never was there a day I never thought of him, never was a day I ever forgot about my friends from _Shinsengumi_.

After his death, I was never alone. _Because I knew he was always watching over me._ I have lived a long life, a long life without him and yet, I wasn't lonely. However, it was different now. One by one, everyone I knew left me and joined them at the far away place.

First, it was Shimada-_san_, and then Matsumoto-_sensei_, followed by O'sen-_chan_ and then, Nagakura-san.

_And now it's finally my turn._

"Chizuru-san," A firm young voice was gripping tightly onto my hand, but carefully, as though I was a fragile piece of glass. The young man, with short black hair, was dressed finely in a westernized suit. His eyes were violet, just like _his _eyes. Next to him was a younger teen, dressed in a green _kimono_ top and black _hakama_. "Thank you for taking care of us all these years." They stood up and gave a formal bow.

I smiled at them, and gave a firm nod.

_Toshizo-san, are you watching? They were the kids I adopted back then. They looked so much like you and Kondou-san. _

"Sanojime-_kun_, can you pass me the box over there?" I pointed to the younger teen's back. He quickly stood up and ran over, hugging the box tightly to his chest. I took out a photo of him, looking smart in his western battle suit. He was just like how I remembered him. "Sousuke-_kun,_ this was the only man I ever loved in my life, and now I am joining him. I am happy, so don't cry." I wiped his tears away with my wrinkled hands, just like how _he _did for me that time.

_Toshizo-san, do you like their names? I named them after the men that I was indebted to. I wanted to see you, but I am worried for them. They were like kids, like our kids. I regret leaving them before I get to see them get married._

Slowly, my life flashed before me as I tried to concentrate on reality. From the day my dad left me for Kyoto, to meeting the _rasetsu_, to meeting _him _and everyone in _Shinsengumi_. There were fun times, and sad times. We met; we said our farewells. "Listen, don't you dare to run. If you try to run, I'll kill you." This was the first time I heard his voice. "In this lifetime, and in my next few lifetimes, I will always love you. Even if I'm no longer beside you, just know that I love you and my heart will eternally be yours." That was the last time I heard his voice clearly.

_Even so, Toshizo-san_,_ I'm glad I met you. _

"Chizuru-san?" Their voices were getting distant. However, I could still hear them crying. Slowly, I felt myself losing the strength and could no longer feel my body.

It is time.

It was as though I was watching a movie as I saw my wrinkled hands losing its strength and falling limply next to the bed.

_Toshizo-san, I'm all old and wrinkled now; will you still love me? Will you still recognize me? If we're reborn again, will you be able to find me? _

* * *

"Where did she run to?"

I panted heavily, running away from the men that were after my life. However, it was not easy running in boots that were giving my feet blisters. With quick thinking, I hid behind a pillar. I need to think of something quick, or they'll find me. It was bad luck to run into a bunch of assassins that was ordered to kill me, all because I was the only female heir to the _Yukimura_ family.

It was a torturous moment as I attempted to think of a way to escape these men unnoticed. Their footsteps were getting closer, and my heart was beating faster. And finally, they stopped in front of me.

"I found her!" One of them yelled.

My eyes widened in horror as he took out a pocketknife. "Bye, Chizuru-_sama_," He smirked. With no mercy, his hand lowered down onto me. I shut my eyes, facing my demise. I waited, expecting pain to come, but it didn't. Instead, there was a groan of agony, and the groan didn't belong to me.

A man, with indigo hair and dark blue eyes, stared down at me. The assassinsthat wanted to kill me was there at his feet, completely knocked out. A few feet away, his accomplice was knocked out cold too. I couldn't tell if they were merely unconscious, or dead.

"I wanted to kill the both of them out myself," A voice sounded from the corner in front of me. "You were fast this time, Saitou-_kun_." This time, it was a man in brown short hair and green eyes. Both of them were dressed in casual home clothes, but I knew they weren't normal citizens.

"I only did as my duty required." The man called Saitou replied nonchalantly.

It was then I noticed the small tattoo on their palms. It was the infamous mafia group, naming themselves after the infamous _samurai_ group in the past, _Shinsengumi_. I stood rooted onto the ground, unsure if I was saved, or just landed myself in a greater trouble.

This time, I must run.

With whatever little strength I had, I moved my shaky legs and tried to run. But I was too late. Right in front of me, was another man, holding a gun that was pointed at me.

This man was wearing a decent-looking suit, but the gun in his hands was suspicious. His violet eyes were cold when staring at me.

_For the first time._

I met this man but it felt like I knew him for ages. I felt comfortable, and relieved as though all this while, I had been searching for him.

"Listen, don't you dare to run. If you try to run, I'll kill you." He spoke.

_For the first time._

I heard his voice but it sounded strangely familiar. My heart was beating fast, but it wasn't like before. It wasn't fear; it was a good feeling that filled me with warmth.

When his eyes met mine, it widened. In that short moment, I saw another scene as though it was from a dream. It was in the past, with his long ponytail fluttering in the wind, the exact same person was pointing a sword at me.

"In this lifetime, and in my next few lifetimes, I will always love you. Even if I'm no longer beside you, just know that I love you and my heart will eternally be yours."

_Toshizo-san, you've found me again. _


	3. For the last time - Hijikata

Hijikata watched his wife, Chizuru, fondly as she did her chores around the house energetically, like back in the old times. It was another peaceful day in _Edo,_ but something was different. He just knew it. Each passing day, he felt his body losing the strength he used to have when he wielded the sword as the _oni-fukuchou _of _Shinsengumi. _

And finally, the time had come.

The effects of drinking the _ochimizu_ had finally taken its toll on his body. He sacrificed his life for this power; there is nothing much he can do now to prevent this. It was an inevitable ending for him.

"Chizuru," his voice came out barely a whisper.

"Yes?" Chizuru gave him a forced smile. It seemed like she was aware of it as well.

"Let's go for a walk."

Hijikata had his arms around Chizuru for support, as she brought them to the precious place they shared – the _sakura _tree where they were finally free. He did not want to put his weight onto her small shoulders, but he was too weak to walk by himself. He hated how weak he was now, but this was the choice he made in exchange for the power he needed to end the war. He glanced at Chizuru, desperately holding onto his body, while guiding him to their place. For the first time, he felt so strongly against dying. He wanted to stay alive, to be by her side until they are both old and wrinkled.

_The oni-fukuchou from the past would not have expected that I want to live on, all for the sake of a woman. _Hijikata chuckled, but instead, only a dry painful cough came out.

"Are you okay, Hijikata-_san_?" She asked; not even hiding the anxiety in her voice. "Should we head back home?"

"No, let's continue."

Hijikata thought back into his life. How he first met Kondo-_san, _Souji, and everyone else in _Shinsengumi. _How he, a mere son of a farmer, became a _samurai_ and fought to protect _Kyoto_. He remembered the sense of guilt, and pain when Kondo-_san _surrendered, and how he wanted to end his life then. _If it wasn't for her…_

"We're here, Hijikata-_san,_" Chizuru's gentle voice interrupted his thoughts. Chizuru sat under the tree, resting his head on her lap. He gazed at the _sakura _petals falling from the tree. Many things happened since then. She was the reason he found to be able to live on until now. She was the reason he wanted to continue living on, even now.

"Chizuru."

"Yes?" She smiled down softly at Hijikata. Her eyes filled with love.

"A _sakura _petal." Hijikata used the free hand he had; the hand that was not interlocked with hers, to remove a petal off her soft hair.

_How much longer can I enjoy the warmth of her love?_

Slowly, as if on cue, Hijikata feel the inside of his body burning. He finally understood what Sannan-_san_ and Heisuke meant when they said they knew their time was up. Somehow they just know. And so did he.

He did not have much time remaining.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm?" She stroked his hair. _That felt good. _"Just thinking about the night we first met."

Hijikata laughed. "If you try to run, I'll kill you, huh?" He could barely muster up enough strength to talk.

Droplets of water splashed on Hijikata's forehead, but not to his surprise. He knew how she had been holding back her tears when he asked her out on a walk. He watched her as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. Throughout his life, Hijikata had watched tears of grieving families, and shed some tears of his own, but nothing was more painful than watching the tears of his beloved. Not even the burning pain his body was enduring can be compared with the pain his heart was feeling at seeing her suffering.

_If I had not met you that night, would you be living a better life now? _

"Chizuru, don't cry." Hijikata lifted his hands to wipe the tears off Chizuru's eyes, an action that used to be so easy and simple took up most of his life strength now.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't…" She choked on a sob.

Meeting Chizuru was his regret, and yet also the happiness of his life. Hijikata was glad to have met her, but he wished he could spare her from the heart wrenching farewells she had to give to her friends and him. Time is ticking, and his life is fading. He could no longer feel his legs anymore.

"Chizuru, I'm sorry I had to leave you behind, all alone." He was by her side as she cried over the tears of losing her father, and her friends. What he could not bear was that now even he had to leave her all alone, in this world, to cry for him. "If possible, I want to live on and spend my entire life with you." Hijikata could barely contain his true feelings.

"No…" She mumbled as her tears continued to fall. He knew his words were killing her. But…

_If I don't say it now, I will never be able to tell her again. _

"Chizuru, I love you." He was slowly losing control of his body; he could no longer feel her warmth through his hands. "In this lifetime, and in my next lifetimes, I will always love you. Even if I'm no longer beside you, just know that I love you and my heart will eternally be yours."

_Chizuru, I really really loved you. I loved how strong-willed you are, I love your warmth, I love your everything. I love you. _

Hijikata let out a groan as he felt the insides of his body burning away. "Chizuru," He whispered. His breath was getting ragged.

_Please don't forget about me. _

"Stop crying… And please smile, and call me using my name… I…" _No, just a while more._ "want to hear…" _Chizuru. _"you say my name… for the… last… time…"

_Just for one last time. _

He could no longer see her face, as he felt his consciousness slipping away.

"I… I love you Toshizo."

_Thank you, Chizuru. I love you, too._

And everything went dark.

* * *

"Hijikata-_san, _the betrayers were spotted in Kyoto." A member Hijikata had seen before, but not yet remembered his name, reported.

"Thanks." Hijikata mumbled gruffly, before dismissing the member. Ex-members that were once a part of his mafia, _Shinsengumi, _had betrayed them and were working for the their rivals. They had broken the mafia code. _Unforgivable. _

"Hunt them down, Saito, Souji." Hijikata instructed his most trusted aide, Saitou, and the boss, Kondo-_san_'s loyal friend, Souji. "We will eliminate them all."

"Yes." Saito answered indifferently. Souji just gave a short laugh.

Less than a few hours later, Hijikata received information that the betrayers had been found, and disposed off. However, not everything had gone as planned. There was an eye witness.

He sighed at the troublesome task he was assigned to as he made his way to where Souji and Saito were at. An alley nearby, not far from where he was at. There was an unsettling feeling within him that bugged him this whole time, causing his crankiness and irritation.

_Just what is this feeling? _

It didn't take him long to reach his destination. He spotted the eyewitness – a small petite girl, with her hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Tch, a woman." He clicked his tongue and took out his gun from the inside of his blazer pocket, pointing it towards the girl.

_Woman, men. It doesn't matter. All eyewitnesses must be disposed of. _

Before Hijikata can even pull the trigger, the girl turned, making her attempt at escaping. But she stopped short at the sight of his gun.

"Listen, don't you dare to run. If you try to run, I'll kill you."

The girl froze for a second before she looked up, her eyes met with his. Suddenly, a scene flashed before his eyes. A girl, dressed in a pink _kimono_ top, trembling right before him. He knew he had never met this girl before, but there was no mistaking the sense of familiarity that he felt when he looked into her eyes. His heart rate was accelerating; he felt his blood rush through his veins. The feelings that was bugging him was gone. It was like all the puzzle pieces have clicked together. A voice rang loudly in his head.

"Chizuru, I love you. In this lifetime, and in my next few lifetimes, I will always love you. Even if I'm no longer beside you, just know that I love you and my heart will eternally be yours."

_Finally, I've found you again._


End file.
